Rise of the Sith
by Enrinyes
Summary: Ben Solo, seduced to the dark side, became Kylo Ren, Lord of the Knights of Ren, and apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke. Ren continues his journey as the Jedi Killer, servant of the First Order when he finds something that he thought was lost to him a long time ago. A girl. A scavenger. Rey. What will become of them as they struggle to find their place in the galaxy and each other.
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

After the bad summary, I felt a little introduction was needed. This fanfiction was written / started after Star Wars: The Force Awakens was released and follows the events established in this movie. However I have blended a little old canon (Star Wars Legends) into this fanfiction and expanded on certain elements to explore the shipping of Rey and Kylo Ren (Ben Solo). If you're not interested in Rey and Kylo being in relationship then this is probably not the best fanfiction for you. You have been forewarned…

As I write more, the story will be split into three parts (each covering an episode e.g. Episode VII, VIII and IX) if I can get the far and get the story to work. And of course if you all enjoy it!

What I am writing is not what I am expecting to happen in the next two movies but I'm running with an idea that I like and the introduction of some of my favourite legends canon characters into the extended universe. One can dream right! ;)

Happy reading…


	2. Chapter I

**CHAPTER I**

 ** _-_** **34 ABY** ** _-_**

Kylo Ren stared down at the unconscious scavenger restrained in front of him. She appeared to be nothing. Dressed simply, her clothes showing the marks of living on the harsh barren world of Jakku. Nothing about her seemed important. And yet she a scavenger had helped the BB-8 unit from eluding the First Order and successfully into the hands of the Resistance.

He watched curiously, as the girl slowly regained consciousness and peered around the interrogation room accessing the situation with more grace and calm than the trained men he had seen break in this room countless times either by Hux or himself.

"Where am I?" She asked, and he depicted an inflection of fear with the question.

Still crouched at her feet he answered. "You're my guest."

 _Guest._ The word held just as much confusion to him as he sure it did to the girl. But something about her beckoned to him, screaming that she was different. That he should treat her different. And here he was, treating her with a gentleness he didn't know he possessed. He hadn't even shown his old childhood friend Dameron that courtesy when he had been captured. Gentleness was a form of compassion, and he didn't do compassion.

"Where are the others?" She responded back quickly.

"You mean the murders, traitors and thieves you call friends? You'll be relieved to know I have no idea." Ren paused for a moment before adding, "You still want to kill me?"

She stared back down at with indignation and defiance. "That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask."

He paused again at that comment, studying her closely. That earlier hint of fear had all but evaporated, replaced with determination and small waves of anger. He admired her strength and bravery, but it would not save her. She would resist like Dameron, he could tell by the set of her shoulders and the sharpness in her gaze, but she would still give him the answers he desired. They always did. But perhaps revealing his identity, by removing the mask, some of that defiance would lift. The quicker he got answers the quicker he could locate Skywalker and finish what he had started ten years ago.

Kylo Ren pressed his fingers against the release buttons on the side of his helmet, taking it off as he stood from his crouched position. He walked closer towards the scavenger, depositing the helmet on the pedestal as he went past. He watched as the girl tried to compose herself, try to hide the confusion and curiosity that he was sure was eating away at the surface of her mind.

Standing directly in front of her he demanded softly, noticing the small shiver against her skin at the sound of his unfiltered voice, "Tell me about the droid."

"He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and a thermal hyperscan vindicator…"

"It's carrying a section of navigational chart. And we have the rest. Recovered from the archives of the Empire, but we need the last piece. And somehow, you convinced the droid to show it you. You. A scavenger. You know I can take whatever I want."

He moved closer towards her lifting his palm against the side of her face. He almost staggered back at the feelings that assaulted him at entering her mind. Was this why he had wanted to treat her with compassion? Had he sensed her loneliness and pain earlier and felt sympathetic towards her? He knew all to well loneliness and pain of being abandoned.

"You're so lonely. So afraid to leave. At night desperate to sleep."

Kylo watched as tears streamed down her face, emotions stirring from within, but he pushed them away. He had already shown her too much compassion as it was. He was an embodiment of the darkside not the light. There was no place for _feelings_. Not to mention Snoke would be very _displeased_ with him.

"You imagine an ocean. I see it. I see the island. And Han Solo, you feel like he's the father you never had. He would have disappointed you."

Rey ground her teeth, as Kylo moved back around in front of her, growling at him, "Get out of my head."

He continued on as if he hadn't heard her. "I know you've seen the map. It's in there. And now you'll give it to me."

Rey's body began to shift forward against her will as she struggled against the force and Kylo's invasion on her mind. She took a deep breath and squinted her eyes.

"Don't be afraid I feel it too."

"I'm not giving you anything."

"We'll see."

With his hand outstretched, he dived into her mind seeking answers. The interrogation room disappearing into waves of sand dunes instead. He watched as a younger version of Rey drag a heavy bag of parts from the wreckage of a starship. She couldn't have been more than ten or eleven, and was carrying more than three times her weight. Kylo could sense the impending act before the young girl had even noticed the company. One of two men had stepped on the netting she had been using to cart the junk, stopping her efforts abruptly. She turned to investigate only to have her attention snagged by a second man stepping right in front of her. She looked up and began shaking in fear at the malicious expression on the older man's face.

Kylo clenched his fist in anger, knowing full well what this disgusting excuse of a man wanted. His hand stretched out instinctively to choke the life out of them both, only to fall limply by his body as he remembered this was nothing more than a memory. A memory he couldn't change or influence.

She took a step back, forgetting about the second man only to remember too late when he gripped her by the waist. She began struggling violently kicking with all her might and hoping in desperation to land a blow. She heard a bark of pain as her foot connected with the older man's kneecap, the sudden pain startling him that he lost his grip on her. Rey attempted to run only to feel a sharp pain on her cheek as she was backhanded. The force of the blow launched her off the ground and smashing into the edge of the fallen starship, her left arm landing brutishly against it.

"Now that's not how you should behaving. Stay down and take what is coming to you," he paused so he could whisper the last word venomously, " _quietly_."

Rey felt through the sand desperately for something to use to defend herself. She had found herself a rusted knife last week, but after repeated use during the week against other scavengers and creeps like these, it had broken off. And she hadn't yet found a weapon to replace it, so she could defend herself.

As their steps crunched closer against the sand and broken pieces of metal, her hand came in contact with a large pole. Not caring how large the object was for her small frame, she pulled it out of the sand, as she stood up, nearly toppling over in the process. She dragged it up on the ground swinging the metal wildly in the direction of the two men. She heard the satisfying crunch of bones breaking as it connected with the man on the right's jaw, knocking them both over. She ran over the men groaning on the ground and used the pole once more to knock each of the creeps out, not caring for the least if she left them with broken bones and welts. But even when they remained unmoving she couldn't take her eyes of them. Anger and despair coursed through her small body, and Rey pushed back tears that threatened to flow. Why? Why had her parents left her here to rot by herself? Why had they abandoned her to this hell?

Beside her Kylo Ren seethed in his own anger, familiar feelings of abandonment coursing through his veins. Having witnessed this memory he knew he and the scavenger weren't all that different after all. And he hated that someone as young, and innocent as she was, had ever had to live through that nightmare. He sunk further into her mind and memories, searching for the elusive map to Skywalker. He caught a glimpse of an impression of it and charged forward only to all of a sudden feel a wall between him and the answers he seeked. He found himself being repelled out of her mind and back into his own.

The pressure expelling him out of her mind, and propelling into his own shocked him momentarily giving her the moment she seemed to need to enter his own. He tried to push back against her mind but came up against an equally strong resistance. The force tugged between Ren and Rey before her eyes squinted as if she was trying to sense something.

Her voice was calm and full of inflexion as spoke. "You. You're afraid. That you will never be a strong as Darth Vader."

He released the hold her mind, and felt Rey do the same staring at her in shock. Not only had she resisted but she had also read him. Read deep into him mind, into the areas that should have been closed tightly away. Just as suddenly as he had left her mind, he felt a snap in his own and the faint presence of her emotions seeped in. He sensed her confusion at what had transpired, a confusion that he himself was feeling.

 _How can he be afraid of not being as strong as Darth Vader? Who would want to emulate that monster?_

He heard the words echoing across his mind. Familiar anger beginning to surface at those new comments.

 _He is not a monster._ Kylo Ren snarled back in his own mind. _How dare you disrespect grandfather that way!_

He saw Rey cower in the interrogation chair, as his angry words echoed loudly in her mind.

"How?" She whispered softly.

Kylo Ren froze once more. He shouldn't have been able to hear her thoughts. And she certainly shouldn't have been able to have hear his so clearly either. But no it wasn't possible. He couldn't be forced bonded to her. No that wasn't possible. He had been bound to another once before and that had been taken from him. The one good thing in the world to him had been stolen long ago. But he had felt the bond snap into place. Fear replacing anger, he snatched his helmet back and stormed out of the room. He needed space away from her and he needed guidance from Supreme Leader Snoke.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

This is where Rey finds her staff though at that point in time she didn't know what it was or had time to examine it more closely.

The story is going to follow the events of Episode VII closely, with some minor changes hear and there and then veer off. Let me know what you think of the story so far…


	3. Chapter II

**CHAPTER II**

 ** _-_** **34 ABY** ** _-_**

" _Bring her to me._ "

Supreme Leader Snoke's words echoed in his mind, as he stormed back through the corridors towards the interrogation room. He paused however as he thought of the bond he now shared with the Scavenger girl. He hadn't told Snoke yet, and he wouldn't, not until he understood it at least.

But that was the problem – he couldn't understand it at all. He knew how the force bond worked. Those who were strong with the force were able to form connections with other force sensitives – allowing communication of thought, feelings and images across distances. Such a bond was uncommon though, usually only forming between a pair whose abilities and personalities were an equal match. Some even believed it was a bond forming between those with destinies entwined together, or destined to be together themselves. He had once held such a bond back when he had allowed his Uncle, Luke Skywalker, to poison his mind with the ways of the Jedi. He had a bond with little Raia before that too had been taken away from him. By his own family no less. As if they hadn't caused him enough pain and anguish already.

How could he, years later, share a force bond with the Scavenger? True he understood her emotions all too well but he had already bonded with another. It was unheard of to bond with two individuals unless – no it wasn't possible. It couldn't be. Could Rey be little Raia grown up? It would make sense. Their old bond snapping back into place at the return contact after many years of separation. But how? How did Raia go from the Jedi Praxeum on Yavin 4 to the desert wastelands of Jakku? But the more he thought about it the more he knew it was true. He had found Raia. Hope blossomed deep inside in, an emotion he had not felt in a very long time.

It would explain everything. It would explain her force abilities. It would explain the familiarity of seeing Rey as a child. The complete change of clothing, and the fact that he had never seen her wear her hair any way but down, coupled with the fact that he had believed her to be dead all these years had clouded him from the knowledge of who she was. When their force bond had originally broke he had been unable to detect any hint of her presence in the force, and after a year of searching he had finally given in to the conclusion that his best friend and the only person he cared for was gone. It would also explain why he had shown her compassion, his subconscious recognizing her, the bond preventing him from harming her.

He picked up speed, desperate to see her once more. Desperate to understand how she was on Jakku. How she had been hidden from him. His heart pumped with exhilaration but slowed as he saw the doors to the interrogation room lay open and he stormed in. Except Rey, his Raia was no longer in the room. The room was empty. She had escaped his grasp.

"NO!"

He shouted clenching both his fists, his body humming with equal parts fear and anger. He summoned his lightsaber in his hands venting his fear and frustration on the chair where she had previously been strapped. Allowing his anger and fear to take over, he set to slicing through the chair and walls with his lightsaber.

"NOOOOOOO!"

Once more he had lost Raia. Once more she had slipped through his grasp.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Hopefully I can release chapter three soon. Let me know how you have enjoyed the first opening chapters so far.


	4. Chapter III

**CHAPTER III**

 ** _-_** **34 ABY** ** _-_**

" _Rey._ "

The gentle brush on her mind had Rey pausing as she dangled precariously from one of the ledges in the building.

" _Rey._ "

It is whispered again. The voice was so soft, so gentle that it she couldn't help but answer the call. Reaching out with abilities she didn't understand she focused on the sound of her name. She found the building and ledge around her disappear. She found herself staring into a dark chamber. At first she couldn't see anything, but she could sense movement in front of her. A red glow illuminated the dark chamber abruptly, and she raised her hands to shield her eyes from the unexpected light source. She slowly lowered them, allowing her eyes to adjust to the harsh red glow coming from Kylo Ren's lightsaber. The man had never looked more menacing than now, shrouded in darkness, illuminated by red. Yet despite his appearance, she felt safe. A feeling she couldn't understand, as she knew he had to be anything other than safe.

He took a step towards her, and she instantly stepped back.

"I'm not going to hurt you Rey." Despite the filter of the helmet, the gentleness in his voice could still be heard, and her instincts were sensing truth from that statement.

"Why? What's changed?" She asked quietly.

"I found out the truth. A truth that was hidden from me."

"What truth?"

He paused, his head titling to the side as if to study her. He said nothing for a few minutes before he asked, "Do you not know who I am?"

"You are Kylo Ren. Commander of the First Order. Enemy of the Resistance."

"Is that all I am?"

Something about the tone in his voice, held back her answer. It sounded like curiosity mixed with desperation, which made Rey herself curious. On instinct she reached out towards the masked man as if to sense an answer to his question. She gasped in a breath of air, as waves of anger and hatred assaulted her mind. How could person have so much anger and hatred? How could they live without being suffocated by it? She was about to turn back, when again instinct had her propelling forward. She pursued deeper into the anger and hatred, wrapping her arms around her body as if to protect herself from its venom. Memories of childhood pain flickered past, of loneliness, or abandonment. Had Kylo Ren been abandoned just like she had been on Jakku? She keep walking through layers of rage not daring to linger on any one thing for too long, though again she wasn't quite sure why, all she seemed to do was tangle herself in it further when she saw it.

It was small, barely glowing, but it was there. Like a discarded toy left to rot at the bottom of a crate. A small white dot, glowed dimly and beckoned her forward. She wrapped her hands around it, and immediately the redness around her began to recede slightly. Instead of intense anger, now regret, sadness, loneliness and confusion stirred around her. But they weren't malicious and they were hanging by a mere thread, but they were there. A man who had done callous things felt regret and confusion. It seemed that Kylo Ren wasn't as evil as she had first imagined him to be. Stepping back, she glanced back at him and answered.

"Yes. You're conflicted. I sense goodness in you."

Once more the atmosphere around her swirled violently red, animosity suffocating the air around her.

Ren whispered venomously at her. "Yes I am Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order and enemy to the pitiful Resistance. But I am not conflicted Rey. Never claim that about me again."

Rey found herself pushed out his mind, an act that startled her, almost allowing her to loose her grip on the ledge she was still holding as she tried to make sense of her surroundings once more. Arms aching with fatigue, she continued her journey down, her mind brimming with defiance. Ren could be as menacing as he wanted but she had felt the light in him. No matter how small it was it was there. And nothing he could say would change that. If possible she would help him realize it too.


	5. Chapter IV

**CHAPTER IV**

 ** _-_** **34 ABY** ** _-_**

Kylo Ren, accompanied by a squad of stormtroppers, followed the force. He had felt Han Solo, his father's presence on the surface of the planet. His father was here, undoubtly in some pathetically _heroic_ attempt to stop the First Order. To stop Hux before the weapon could be fired again. He was almost tempted to let the old man succeed. Despite being loyal to the First Order, Ren didn't believe in the need or usage of Hux's prized super weapon. However as much as he was tempted, there was something much more valuable that he seeked. The stormtroppers filtered out into the space around them searching for Han Solo. He had waited for this day for so long. It was Supreme Leader Snoke who had been preparing him for all these years. He would wait no longer. And he hoped he would not fail.

Sensing that he was close, he stepped onto a long thin walkway over a large chasm, seeking to draw the old fool out to him. It wasn't long. He wasn't even halfway over the walkway before his heard his father's voice echoing loudly in the large chamber and chasm below.

"BEN!"

Ren turned around, a smile tugging at his lips, not that Han Solo could see under his mask.

"Han Solo. I've been waiting for this day for a long time."

Ren watched unmoving as he started to slowly walk towards him, determination marring his old features.

"Take off that mask. You don't need it."

"What do you think you'll see if I do?"

"The face of my son."

Son. Ren scoffed. Some father he had been. He could scarcely remember any fond memories between his parents. He had always scared his parents. His proficiency with the force and short temper had always scared them. The great Princess Leader, who stood against Lord Vader and the Emperor, the Smuggler who defied his very nature to protect his mother and uncle, was afraid of their little son. Afraid of his power. Afraid of what he could be. Han Solo could hardly call him son when he had been no father. A father wouldn't have abandoned their child to their uncle. Deciding the humor Han Solo, more for Ren's benefit than his own he took of his helmet, dropping it. The helmet fell against the metal grate loudly but it didn't have the desired effect Ren had thought it would.

Yes emotion flickered in his father's eyes but emotions stirred within himself as he stared at his father through unfiltered eyes. The removal of the helmet almost felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted. That was wrong. The helmet wasn't a burden. Kylo Ren didn't have burdens. Ben Solo had burdens but not Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren was stronger, more powerful than to be plagued by burdens.

"Your son is dead. He was weak and foolish like his father, so I destroyed him."

"That's what Snoke wants you to believe." Han Solo replied, stepping closer. "But it's not true. My son is alive."

"No. The Supreme Leader is wise."

"Snoke is using you for you power. When he gets what he wants he'll crush you."

Ren took an uncomfortable step back. That would never happen. He wouldn't let it. One day he would be strong enough to destroy Supreme Leader Snoke. One day when he had learnt all he could from Snoke he would. Snoke was a means to an end. A tool to teach him the dark side of the force so he could be as strong, as commanding, as feared as his grandfather.

"You know it's true."

It was true. It was inevitable. It was the way of the darkside. It mattered not. Even if Ben Solo was alive like his father claimed it would matter not.

"It's too late."

"No it's not. Leave here with me. Come home with me. We miss you."

 _Home_. What home did he have? The only home he had ever had, he was sent away from. But his father dangling something he had craved his whole life sent doubt pulsing through his system. Had old feelings resurfacing. Weak feelings. The feelings of Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren wasn't so weak as to hope that one day he would have a home. One day he would have a family. One day his parents wouldn't fear him. And just like that it was like the dam had been broken. A flood of years of carefully suppressed emotions flooding through him. Love and hate. Happiness and anger. Despair and hope.

Could he really go home? No. It would never be so simple. The Resistance would not welcome him with open arms. He had killed too many people for that. And yet despite that, here his father was. The man he arguably hated most in the world was standing before him begging him to come home. All he had wanted growing up was the love of his parents. Was for them to take the time to understand him, to help him. And here after all these years, after everything he had done they still wanted him. Maybe this had been what he had been searching for all those years ago when he had joined Snoke. Snoke. The name snapped some sense back into Kylo Ren. Snoke would be disappointed with him now. Disappointed that he was being weak. That the fragments that were once Ben Solo threatened to return. Threatening Kylo Ren.

What he said next though, shocked Ren even more with how honest he was being with his father as he replied, "I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. And I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it."

If Snoke had asked him merely hours ago, his response would have been I won't fail, but here, now, with his father before him, for once Kylo Ren wasn't sure. Leader Snoke wanted Han Solo dead. He would only complete his training to the darkside in he could pass this simple test. Kylo Ren needed Han Solo dead to live, and Ben Solo needed Han Solo alive to live. All he had to do was kill his father. A task considering he hated the man should be easy. But like he said, he was being torn apart. He wanted to kill, wanted to fully embrace the darkside, fully embrace Kylo Ren. And yet, no matter how hard he tried, some part of Ben Solo always remained. Light in the darkness. It was a pain like no other, each breath, and each decision painful as two sides of him warred against one another.

"Will you help me?" Ren asked of his father.

"Yes." His father replied instantly.

Looking down he pulled his lightsaber of his belt, and held it out in front him. His father looked down at his own weapon before placing his hand on it. At the contact, Ren gripped the weapon tightly. One part yearning to ignite the lightsaber and destroying his father once and for all, the other desperately trying to stop him. He felt the room grow colder and darker, the last of the sun must have been drained. Soon the weapon would launch again crushing the Resistance once and for all.

 _Ren. Kylo Ren._

He heard his name whispered against his mind, the voice coarse and malicious. It sounded like Leader Snoke, but he knew it wasn't. Even Snoke didn't have the power to communicate from this distance. He took a deep breath in at the sound of his name. His name. That was right. Ben Solo had no power here. He was Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, and apprentice to Leader Snoke. His father and mother abandoned him. All he had was Snoke. Snoke raised him. Snoke taught him. Not this weak man in front of him. All he had to do was kill him. Kill him and the pain would end. Ben Solo would die for good, and Ren could be who he truly was meant to be.

Not wasting a second longer, he pressed the lightsaber towards his father and ignited the crystal. The cries of a wookie, Chewbacca, echoed in the large chamber as the red glow of the kyber crystal pierced through Han Solo.

"Thank you." He whispered to his father.

Kylo Ren went to smile, victorious. But found he couldn't. Something wasn't right. He should feel relief but he didn't. Instead he felt oddly empty. Hollow even. He pulled the lightsaber out of his father's body. His father raised his hand, caressing his son's check one last time before Ren watched him topple down into the chasm below. He staggered back a step as he felt his father's presence vanish from the force. And then he felt it. Anger. Unadulterated anger at himself. And then regret. No, no, no. This was all wrong. He was supposed to feel strength at his fathers demise. Instead he stared down into the chasm at the emptiness, at the regret consuming him. A stark relation hit him hard. There was no home. There was no way that he could ever go home now. There was no escaping what he had done. He had failed. Ben Solo hadn't died. No he was alive, and he was drowning Kylo Ren alongside him.

The enraged cry from Chewbacca snapped him out of his daze, but not quick enough. Chewbacca aimed his bow rifle at Ren shooting him in the stomach. Ren staggered back in pain as the shot hit him dead on, a shot that he had seen take down so many before him. The pain was indescribable, he felt like his whole body was on fire from the piercing pain. Gritting his teeth, he focused on his self-hatred using the anger to dull the pain. Like the sith before him, he would use the pain to make him strong. It was then that he sensed, or rather noticed a presence watching. Raia. He wasn't alone after all. He just had to convince her.


	6. Chapter V

**CHAPTER V**

 ** _-_** **34 ABY** ** _-_**

Ren turned around as the traitor FN-2187 collapsed to the ground and hung his lightsaber against his belt. He felt his wound from the Wookie's blaster flare up again, but he pushed past the pain, using it to fuel his strength. He reached out with the force towards his grandfather's lightsaber calling for it. At last it would be his. His brows furrowed with confusion when the saber refused to move from the mound of snow. He pushed harder with the force but still it wouldn't move, before out of nowhere it came hurtling out the snow. He dodged to the side, the metal only narrowly missing smashing against his face and he saw it fly into the outstretched palm of Rey. She looked just as shocked as he did, along with uncertain.

Inwardly a flare of pride welled deep inside him, even though he knew this wasn't the time or place. Instinctively she still remembered the basics of the force, even if she had no recollection of ever being trained.

She stared hesitantly at the saber before flicking it to life, the snow around her bathed in a soft blue glow. When he had knocked her out moments earlier, he had hoped it would last longer. He didn't want to fight her. He didn't want to harm her, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't curious. Curious to know how much she instinctively remembered. He was also still annoyed at her earlier outburst when she had called him a monster. Anger burned deep in his skin as he pulled his own lightsaber out and turning it on. How could she choose Han Solo over him? She had looked at him with such revolution and hatred when he had cut them off in the forest.

She dived forward lunging desperately at him with his grandfather's lightsaber. He dodged the attack easily and counted with his own. Their lightsaber's continued to parry against one another, as Rey continued to lunge at him. Her attacks were untrained and undisciplined. She attacked widely and stiffly as she tried to injure him. He returned her attacks with renewed anger that had her defending as she retreated ground back through the snow. Despite the aggressiveness of his attacks, deep down he knew he wasn't fighting her at full strength. Not just because he was still bleeding but also because he didn't want to hurt her. No he wanted her for himself, by his side as she was always meant to be.

He drove her deeper into the forest with his lunges, and deeper towards a large chasm that begun to open up in the earth behind them. He pushed his lightsaber against her, and she brought hers up to defend. Using his physical strength against her, he pushed against her lightsaber making her use every bit of strength to keep him at bay, as she was pressed right up against the ever-growing chasm behind them.

"You need a teacher." He breathed out, the wound making itself more present from the way his body moved offensively and defensively. This time he didn't allow the pain to feed him. Rey was too close to the edge and he was afraid. Afraid that if he used the pain to fuel is anger further, he might loose sight of what he truly wanted and hurt her. He didn't want to her. He hadn't years ago, and didn't want to start now. "I can show you the ways of the force."

At the mention of the word force, her eyes seem to flare in recognition. He hoped that recognition was of her past, that she would join him. She closed her eyes seeming to contemplate before they reopened with renewed determination. With strength she didn't have before she pushed Ren back aggressively, the move shocking him. She lunged at him ferociously again, but with more skill than she had earlier. Ren reached out with the force and sensed her aggression, which brought a smile to his lips.

She was using anger. Anger and hatred at him. Whilst he wasn't pleased it was directed at him, she was still tapping into the power of the dark side and it was making her strong. Attacking again, jolting him from his thoughts, she slammed her lightsaber down, nicking him on the arm. He fell back swinging his own lightsaber out. Rey slammed her lightsaber down once more before kicking him in the chest sending him tumbling down. He jumped back up attacking first this time, but she defended the attack, their lightsaber's clashing against one another. Disconnecting they attacked again, both grabbing hold of the hand each other held their lightsaber in. Rey pushed with all her strength against his right hand, pushing the lightsaber against the snow, whilst simultaneously pushing with her right hand to bring her lightsaber down. Succeeding, using her body's momentum, she brought her lightsaber down against the top of his preventing the crystal within from working. Not wasting an opportunity her anger propelled her forward and she slid her lightsaber back up slicing through part of his face.

Ren fell back on the snow. His face now burning with what he felt was a new scar and surprised that she had bested him. He had not wanted to hurt her but still he was a little surprised, and very pleased. It was the dark side that had given her strength and power. Dark side that he would see her wield again.

A loud deafening crack resonated in the forest. The ground between them split in half separating the two. She stared at him, contemplating finding some way over the chasm to finish the job when she relaxed and turned the lightsaber off. Giving him one final look she turned around and ran off into the forest. He was disappointed that whatever Skywalker had done to her hadn't rubbed off during their battle. But it didn't matter. Rey would soon know too. They had the bond between them once more and he would use that to his advantage. He would seduce her and when she was ready she would come to him voluntarily, Leader Snoke be damned. She was his and his alone. For once he would go against Leader Snoke. She was not for sharing and he didn't want him anywhere near her perfect mind and body. He had already lost her once. He would not let Snoke take her away from him again. Besides Snoke had promised him his father's death would set him free. He was wrong. It hadn't set him free, in fact it seem to condemn him further. Maybe Snoke wasn't as omnipotent has he claimed to be.


	7. Chapter VI

**CHAPTER VI**

 ** _-_** **34 ABY** ** _-_**

General Hux observed Kylo Ren floating upside down in the bacta tank recovering from the wounds given to him by a lone scavenger. Part of Hux wanted to gloat at Ren's weakness, at the inability to defend against one girl – that he finally had something to use against Ren. The other part was hesitant though, not out of any sympathy or compassion, but because something about the situation didn't feel right. Despite being a thorn in his back, Ren was a formable opponent and for him to loose so easily didn't feel right.

"How long until Lord Ren fully recovers?" He asked the medical staff.

"Under normal circumstances I would have said a week, but Lord Ren is no normal man. He was already in the process of slowly healing his wounds when you brought him to us. The tank will just speed the process up. I think it is safe to assume three to four days and he'll be fully fit."

"Good." He nodded and exited the room but paused at the door. "If he hasn't healed by the end of the week, I don't care what condition he is in. Pull him out. Our new ships will arrive fully stocked and equipped by then. Ren will have to make do."

Ren floated unconscious in the bacta tank, his find fully opened to the force as he allowed his body to heal. Inside his mind the anger and rage surfaced once more as he sensed Hux and his disdain towards him in the room. It was bad enough for him to see him so vulnerable, but what he was thinking was tipping Ren over the edge. He was unconscious, but that didn't mean he couldn't kill Hux through the force and how he wanted to. How dare he look down at him – had he forgotten he too had failed? Starkiller base destroyed by the Resistance. He dared to think he was weak. He dared to think he had let Rey win. Which of course he had but that was for Ren and Ren alone to know. He couldn't afford to let people like Hux know. People like him who would be all too happy to inform Leader Snoke.

Releasing his rage, he reached out to Rey, seeking her through the force. He had four days of rest. Four days in which he could give Rey is undivided attention.

Whilst the island was small, she could see from the Millennium Falcon that the rocky island, housed many locations to dwell and hide. The force, like it had guided her to that particular island, out of the many decorating the planets vast oceans, was leading her. She had felt a presence on the island. A presence she had hoped was Luke Skywalker. The galaxy needed the last Jedi more than ever and General Organa had charged Rey with brining him back out of the exile.

Rey walked up what appeared to be the last of the old stairs, and she peered up at the breathtaking sight awaiting her. From the top of the stairs, a small expanse of lush green grass stretched across the top the rocky cliff. In front of it, the expanse of the oceans decorated with small rocky islands. At the edge of the cliff next to what appeared like a gravestone, an older man stood, dressed in slightly dirty ivory robes and grey cloak. The man, who she assumed was Luke Skywalker, turned around and she stared at a face that reminded her very much of Han Solo. A worn face, years of pain and loss echoed in his eyes. A loss she now felt too. Reaching to her side, she pulled her satchel bag up, drawing the lightsaber out. She stretched the weapon out to him.

For a couple of moments, Luke did nothing, just staring at the weapon and Rey before he moved from the edge of the cliff towards her. Gently he took the weapon from her hand, the old weight feeling familiar in his hand. He had his own lightsaber and no longer needed to use his father's but he couldn't leave it out there for people to use. A lightsaber was a deadly weapon, and only the most responsible should use it. He couldn't risk putting another weapon out there in the world.

Rey watched as Luke Skywalker tried unsuccessful to put distance between himself and Rey. She stared at him puzzled momentarily not sure why he was determined to do so.

"General Organa asks for you to come home. The resistance needs you. She needs you."

"And what of you? What do you need?"

"I…I don't know what I need anymore…it's hard to believe that it wasn't long ago I was scavenging on Jakku. And now here I am seeking the last Jedi for the Resistance. Having a power I don't understand. You are Luke Skywalker aren't you?"

"Yes. But I can't go back, and I can't train you."

"Why?" She asked gently as a familiar sense of sadness and despair surfaced. It seemed she was destined to be the one thing she feared most in the world, and the one thing that always seemed to loom over her, alone. She had thought she had found a semblance of a family with Finn, BB-8, Han Solo and Chewbacca, but as quickly as it had happened, it disappeared. She dared to hope that the legendary Jedi Luke Skywalker could then offer her escape but it seemed that was not her fate. Her parents had abandoned her all those years ago, perhaps she was meant to suffer alone. She brushed those familiar stirrings aside as he answered her question.

"I can't help Leia. I have nothing to offer anymore. And I can't risk training another Kylo Ren. I am sorry Rey."

He glanced at her, his gaze filled with just a twinge of guilt, as he walked past her back down the steps. She stared back confused. How had he known her name? But before she could ask Luke added, "Why don't bring Chewbacca up with you. We can share a meal before you leave."

She felt the familiar stirrings of hatred flare within her, but not her own hatred. No it was Ren's. She swallowed nervously as she felt Kylo Ren's presence return to her mind but something felt different. Was it the distance between them? No it didn't feel like that. It didn't feel distant or distorted. Her connection with Ren was crystal clear it just felt different. He felt different. It was only then that she clicked on what it was. Despite the hatred swirling around her mind, it wasn't nearly as suffocating as last time. In fact, she that small spark of light she had found within him earlier seemed to glow just that little bit lighter.

 _"_ _Typical Skywalker."_ He sneered. _"Always running away. Always afraid to embrace true power."_

 _"_ _Go away!"_ Rey snarled back at him. _"Your not welcome here after what you just did."_

 _"_ _You mean killing Han Solo. He deserved his death."_

 _"_ _You don't mean that. I can feel the doubt in you as you tell yourself that lie. He was a good man and didn't deserve to die. Least of all that way."_

 _"_ _And what about Skywalker? Will you share the same malice towards him, my dear Rey?"_

 _"_ _Why would I hate a man I don't know?"_

 _"_ _Oh but you do know him Rey."_

She shivered as she felt his presence close around her, like he was leaning down to whisper in her ear. Despite wanting to hate him, she still found herself leaning instinctively towards his presence.

 _"_ _After all, he's the reason you've been wallowing alone in pain on Jakku. I am not the one you should be targeting your anger on. He was the one responsible for your life alone, abandoned on Jakku to live a life of hardship and pain."_

Rey felt two hands grasping her shoulders and shaking her, snapping her from her thoughts. She blinked, staring out into the worried gaze of Luke Skywalker.

"I can sense my nephews presence. It's faint but it's there, lingering around you. Rey why do I sense my nephew? What's going on? Are you okay?"

But before she could even respond, she could hear Kylo Ren's laughter echoing in her mind. _"Because there are some things even you can't destroy Uncle. Come Rey, let me show you what he stole from us."_

Rey didn't even have a choice as she felt her mind being tugged into Ren's. The last thing she saw was her body collapsing against Luke Skywalker, who was trying to shake her awake once more.


	8. Chapter VII

**CHAPTER VII**

 ** _-_** **20 ABY _-_**

Ben Solo breathed in the dewy forest air, as he mediated cross-legged in a small clearing deep within the forest. It was the only place at his uncle's academy that he felt calm, safe, and generally enjoyed. He was secluded deep within the forest, far away from the other padawan's and from the prying eyes of the Jedi Master's. Whilst none of the padawan's were what you would describe as horrible, they were training to be Jedi after all, they were still children. And children liked to tease other children over the smallest of the things. Whilst he could ignore most things, like everyone he had a weakness, and when that weakness was exploited it was hard to keep his emotions in tune. He wasn't the oldest student at the academy, there was one a few years older than Ben in fact, but he was the last of the students to arrive and he was the great Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker's nephew. Nephew to Luke Skywalker, son to Princess Leia and the scoundrel turned General, Han Solo. Ben often felt he fell short of people expectations. That only worsened when his two cousins, Jaida and Anakin were old enough to start their Jedi training. Whilst he wasn't jealous of his cousins, he still felt guilty that he could never live up to the expectations of others. He had the Skywalker strength in the force, unrivalled to other Master's and padawan's in the academy but unlike his cousin's he lacked control.

Jai and Ani, only eight years old, were just beginning to develop their force abilities in their training though they were already far ahead from the average force sensitive, as he had been at their age. They had something that he had never had from an early age – control. Maybe if he had of came to his uncle earlier it might have been different, though deep down he doubted that, and it was something he did not understand. Whilst his mother had chosen not develop her powers, she was still very strong in the force, but his father had no force abilities whatsoever. All of Ben's force abilities came from his mother's side, from his grandfather the great Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker. In contrast Jai and Ani, obtained force powers from both their father, his Uncle Luke, and their mother, Mara Jade Skywalker. If anything it should be his cousins who lacked control, with abilities from both parents, yet Ben had been born the oldest, the strongest and the wildest.

Gifted his what Uncle Luke had called Ben, but he constantly battled the same question – was it a gift or a burden? His Uncle had once explained to him, that for a Jedi, mastering one's emotions was always the hardest feat. It was crucial to their way of life, but he said it was challenged daily. Challenged by everyday people, by everyday problems, challenged by family, and challenged by the darkness within ourselves and those around us. Giving in to ones emotions led to the dark side of the force. Part of Ben understood what his uncle had tried to explain to him years ago, but he found the concept truly hard to understand. Whilst he was strong in the force in general, his true strength lied in what he now knew as Force Empathy. It was a gift that Ben struggled with. It meant that he was highly attuned to the emotions and thoughts of those around him and he had enough problems to deal with on his own.

Contrary to popular belief, his family was far from perfect. But they were still family and he loved them, and part of him knew that his parents loved him, but he couldn't get past the fact that they were afraid of him. Afraid of his power, afraid of what he was capable of. It was like they were constantly comparing him to someone. He loved his mother, she was gentle, fierce, and warm, but a tiny part of him hated her. Hated her for cursing him with these abilities. A voice whispering in the night at him. And his father, he knew he cared about his son, but he sometimes acted cold, unsure how to deal with a son with powers he could never understand. Ben tried his hardest to ignore his gifts at first, revelling in being able to spend time with his father and Uncle Chewy on board the Millennium Falcon, but each year that he got older made it harder and harder to ignore his abilities. He struggled to get through his own problems, and his ability and status and his mother's child made it difficult to make friends. He knew instantly when they were only trying to befriend him out of status, and he being attuned to the emotions of those around him, made him irritable to be around. He found it sometimes difficult to discern his own emotions from others, or worse he couldn't be around other people without their strong emotions crippling him.

So here he was deep in the forest, escaping people once more. When he was alone he felt like himself, at peace. Even though Uncle Luke was trying his hardest to help, by trying to teach control, calm and blocking, Ben was still far from mastering it. Away from people there were no emotions to gleam, no emotions to be suffocated in, just him and his own thoughts. Though he acknowledged, was becoming dangerous as well. He sighed, each time he thought he had made progress something happened to derail it. Though he would never admit to Uncle Luke, he would never tell him that even here on Yavin IV he could still hear voices whispering in his mind. They were quickly becoming more problematic than his empathy abilities. The voice was a constant presence whispering in his mind, whispering promises, promises of power and strength. Now even the solace of the forest didn't deter the voices.

 _Ben. Ben Solo._

He shivered where he sat on the moss-covered ground at the sound of the gravelly voice. The voice had an eerie quality to it, each word echoing in his mind and yet he could never gleam any emotion from it. If it hadn't been for that incident that had landed him exiled here at the Jedi Academy, he would have gone so far so say that the he was slowly going crazy, the voice his own creation but he knew better. Someone using the force was choosing to torment him from a distance.

 _Not torment, Ben Solo. Help._

Help? He snorted at the comment. Because hearing voices was always deemed helpful.

 _Did I not help you last time? Who helped you destroy the man who threatened your mother?_

Ben clenched his fists, his anger rising. You didn't help. I didn't want to do that! Jedi don't destroy.

 _Ah but you weren't a Jedi in training then Ben Solo._

And whose fault is that! Ben snarled. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be stuck here now. Exiled, my own parents afraid of me, and my only friend Poe.

 _They have always been afraid of you Ben. They fear true power. That's why they sent you here. To cripple you. To cripple your power. Only in understanding your abilities, only in mastering your true potential can you rise above it. Like you did with that man. You cannot lie, for I know the truth. The anger and hatred that coursed through you as you realised that he meant your mother harm, it made you strong and powerful. And you revealed in it. You wanted more._

For some reason, those last words seemed to hold more meaning and Ben could feel a weird sensation burning those words into his mind, but he pushed it aside. No I didn't. It felt wrong. It was wrong. What I did, those were the actions of a monster. There was no need to go that far. If it hadn't be for you–

 _It was your choice Ben. It has always been your choice. That power is there, you only have to reach out and grasp it. I can show you how._

I don't want any more power. All I have is power and look where it has gotten me. My parents are afraid, my uncle and his family, unsure how to act around me, unsure how to help. My only friend, afraid I might turn those powers on him.

 _Yes afraid. Fear is for the weak and you are failing to understand the truth my apprentice._

I am not your apprentice! Uncle Luke is my master! Ben snapped back, but the voice just continued on uncaring.

 _You're so focused on what they feel you neglect yourself. What of what you feel. What about anger? Are you angry that powers or not, your parents can't love you as you are? How about your mother? She is force sensitive like her brother, yet she denies who she truly is, and now seeks to cripple you the same way. And your father? Fearing those stronger than him. Only a weak man fears that which he cannot understand. Do you want to be like your father Ben Solo, weak? Fearing yourself is to be like your father._

Ben felt the stirrings of anger rush through, even as he went to deny the words, words that the voice had constantly been barraging him with.

 _Rise from their weakness, be who you are truly meant to be. Come to me my apprentice, and I will show you true power. Power beyond your imagination, power that would see the despair in the galaxy destroyed, power that would have your family bowing before you in respect not fear. Power–_

"Don't listen to him." A small voice cried. Still mediating, Ben was confused at the interruption to his thoughts. He opened his eyes, only to find himself staring directly at a young girl. His gaze wondered around, but his eyes and his abilities could not sense anyone else around. He wasn't sure how he had missed her presence approaching him, though he surmised the voice in his head was rather distracting.

"Don't listen to him." She repeated again. "He lies".

Ben stared at the girl in bewilderment. She couldn't have possibly have heard the voice in his mind.

"Listen to who?" He asked cautiously.

"The one in your head."

That had Ben freezing once more. Who was this girl? He stared at her, trying to take in each detail to see if he could detect who she was. She was dressed is dark brown Jedi robes, a Padawan but one he had never seen before at the academy so she must be the newest recruit. Her wavy hair fell around her shoulders, and unlike the other Padawan's it seemed she wanted to leave her hair left out. She was a scrawny little thing, and couldn't be more than five years old. The same age actually he had been when he had first begun to notice the voice. Her hazel eyes displayed worry.

"He speaks to me sometimes but I don't listen to him. He lies."

Where he couldn't detect any emotions from the voice in his head, he could discern nothing but a tinge of sorrow, worry and complete honesty admitting from the young child.

Ben's voice was dry as he asked hoarsely, "You can hear him too?"

She nodded her head shyly. "He wants me to do things I don't want to do. I just wanted to build things with mummy, but he kept telling me to do things. I didn't want to so I didn't. Then mummy died. He said I should be angry that she was taken from me. I was angry, but I was more sad. I miss her. He said it was daddy's fault. That if he had of been around, if he hadn't been a Jedi he would have been there to protect mummy. He said I should hate him. I couldn't help it, I was so angry with daddy and the voice said to hurt him. I was going to but then he came home, and he was so sad. Just like me. I remembered I was sad not angry, and that daddy loved mummy and me very much. Mummy said I was an accident…but a happy accident…a present from daddy who because of his job couldn't be with us all the time. She said even so he loved us very much. I trusted mummy and believed her, but then she died and the voice said not to. But daddy was heartbroken and he held me and I knew the voice was lying. He still tries to get me to do things but I don't want to."

Ben swallowed nervously.

"I did something really bad once. I didn't mean to, but I was so angry and he was there whispering things in my head. I lost control." The girl nodded her head in understanding, and he only then realised that he no longer could hear the voice taunting him. Whether it was because he had chosen to leave, or whether the girl's presence had nullified the voice's influence. "What's your name?"

"Raia."

"Well I'm Ben. What are you doing out here anyway? Did you get separated from one of the Master's?" He asked concerned, only now remembering how deep in the forest he was, concerned about how far she had come all by herself and if anyone was currently searching for the girl.

"I saw you. I was supposed to be reading. Master Skywalker gave me some Jedi teachings to read before my lesson with one of the masters. I saw you go to the forest. I was curious. You looked lonely, so I followed."

An involuntary smile crept on his face, at her answer. She had followed him because he looked alone. It was so surreal, and yet he was glad she had. Despite the ten years age difference, he now had someone who understood what he was going through, someone to confine in. Normally he preferred to be alone, far away from the other Padawan's, but he would make an exception for little Raia. He would make sure that she was safe from the voice, safe from its harm and influence. Even if he couldn't escape it, he didn't want to her to share the same fate.

"RAIA!"

His Uncle's voice broke him from his thoughts. He stood at the edge the small clearing they were sitting in, a worried and relieved expression on his face.

"Hi Master Luke". She said it with such a sweet voice and a wide smile that it had Ben grinning again. Whether she was doing it on person or not, with a face like that he knew that the adults would crumple around her. He watched as his Uncle tried to suppress a smile of his own.

"Whilst I am glad that you have made a new friend, young Padawan, maybe tell someone before you disappear next time. Master Dessan, your father and I were very worried when you didn't show up for your lesson, and weren't in the library or anywhere in the temple."

"Oh…" she said in apology, her smile dropping. "I followed Ben. I wanted to see were he went."

"Yes, well you're not the only Padawan who is curious, just the first to get away with following. My nephew usually senses their presence, and looses them in the start of the forest." He chuckled.

"And yet you seem to know, Uncle." Ben added wryly.

His Uncle raised his brow at that. "Of course I do Ben. I worry about all my Padawan's, and my family. I respect that everyone has their secrets, but I make sure to know just in case you ever need my assistance, that I can find you. Come lets head back to the temple for some supper."

Brightened up by the prospect of food, Raia shot up, dashing back out the way she came. Sitting up to follow her and ensure she didn't get lost, he found his Uncle's outstretched arm blocking his way.

"Be careful Ben. Whilst I am glad, more for your sake than Raia's, that you have made a friend at long last, I worry. She has already been tempted by the dark side. It didn't claim her but she is young and untrained."

"And you don't want me around her. Because you don't trust me. You think with my presence I'll turn her to the dark side." Ben growled out, the happiness and serenity that Raia had brought long gone now, replaced with the stirrings of anger, and he thought he could here laughter in his head.

Beside him, Luke sighed. "Ben, if you don't let me help you through this anger you have it will consume you. I am not worried of the influence that you will have on her. I know you feel guilty about what happened Chandrila, but you must move past it Ben, or it too will consume you. I know as well as you do that it was a horrible manifestation of your abilities, but I also know which you seem to doubt, it that isn't you Ben. Your past does not define you, it is your actions in the present, in the now that do. Keep your concentration here and now were it belongs.

I trust you Ben, because I know the person you are even if you yourself doubt it. I am worried, because Raia has been here at the temple for two weeks, but in your usual seclusion you haven't noticed. In those two weeks, she has not made friends with any of the other Padawan's, and not through their lack of trying. She is very quiet just like you. I am worried, that she has attached herself to you Ben. I am worried of the effect this might have when you go through your trials soon, and when I give you a Padawan to teach."

"Raia could be my Padawan." He shot out, before the thought had even registered in his mind. "You think I'm ready for a Padawan?"

"I think the better question is, since when have you wanted an apprentice. You have passed your other trials with flying colours Ben and you are more than ready to take on a Padawan. You are my best student, strong in the force, with a good understanding of how the force works, and an agile mind. Despite how young you are, you are ready, and I think it would be good for you. Force you to have some human contact, and I think it would help you to balance out your empathy abilities which I know are still bothering you."

Ben had nothing to say at that. It was true, his Uncle had wanted him to train some of the Padawan's not necessarily as their sole master, but through a few different training exercises but he had always baulked on the idea of that let alone his own Padawan. But with Raia, who he had only just met minutes ago, it felt right, like something had clicked into place when they meant. And if he was the first friend she had made in two weeks, maybe it was the same for her.

"Who exactly is her father? I don't remember any of the Master's having a daughter apart from you Uncle."

"Master Katarn."

That had Ben pausing. Kyle Katarn was one of the few people that he didn't mind. He had once told him that he swore to his Uncle that he would never become a Jedi Master or train another student, and yet two years later his Uncle had him eating his words. For a Jedi, Master Katarn was open and laid back. It was refreshing after having grown up around politicians.

"How come he never spoke of her? You're in love with Aunt Mara, you yourself said that the Jedi laws on love and family have been relaxed in this order."

"He loved them both, and he was torn between two worlds. I am lucky, Mara is a Jedi as well, and our children are force sensitive. Part of the same world so to speak. But for Kyle, it's different. You're not the only one who disappears, except each time he disappears he is off spending time with his family. He knew Raia was force sensitive even before Jan did, but didn't want to take her away from Jan, or leave her alone, so Jan raised her and taught her everything she knew. Raia is a very capable young child, more so than some of the older padawan's and she has had no force training yet."

Ben felt his heart sank as realisation that he would never get to train Raia. There was no way Master Katarn, would allow someone like him to train his daughter. Flawed. If she were everything his Uncle was describing, his flawed abilities would not do. And he was probably right anyway, she would be better off with another Master.

"Come let us leave, before Raia finds herself lost in the forest. Oh and Ben, I don't think he would mind. He has had his own dealings with the dark side when he first discovered the force, and he felt the dark side rising in his daughter when he came home after he learnt his wife had passed away. I think he would approve of someone who understands the temptation of the dark side to train her, to ensure that he doesn't loose her too. Stop doubting yourself Ben. All the master's here have faith in you."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

A big thank you to **flowergirl** and **maelsiC** for taking the time to review, it is always greatly appreciated, **CpGLITCHIP, ValpineRed 101, XxSweetSuicidexX, tasu7, Angelique Sauvegarde, EspritLutin, Mistyeyesc, ariadna119, bravebanit** and **what's real** for following and or adding to your favourites.

Thank you for your patience as I write this story, I know there are large gaps between updates but I love Star Wars so much I find it hard to focus on the writing. As soon as I think of Star Wars my mind goes off on many different tangents and can be very distracting when trying to write. I will endeavor to update more often.

 **flowergirl:** I hope the new chapter, has some of what you were hoping to see.

 **maelsiC:** Sorry for the large delay between chapters, hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Also thank you to the person who added this story to the **Fight to the Finish** community!


	9. Chapter VIII

**CHAPTER VIII**

 ** _-_** **20 ABY** ** _-_**

Rey suddenly felt a blinding light surrounding her, beginning to block her vision of the scene in front of her. Despite the light, she couldn't tear her vision away from what she was seeing. A younger Kylo Ren, when he was still Ben Solo, and a little girl who looked so similar to her. This couldn't be true. She had no memory of this, and she certainly would have remembered something so pivotal as this. Before the light blinded her completely she heard the voice of Kylo Ren surround her.

 _But it is true. This is but one memory that we share Rey. This is where we first met. And there are many more memories to show you. You can feel it, the truth that I am telling you. Skywalker stole this from us. He stole your memories from you. And looked what happened, stranded on the desolate planet, waiting for a family that would never come._ _Ren sounded slightly pained when he added._ _Not yet Uncle. I won't let you have her yet. I'm far from finished._

 _A wave of Vertigo washed over Rey as the blinding light collapsed around her. Her eyes digested the new scene in front of her. Ren, or rather Ben was walking down a long corridor accompanied by an older woman with fiery red hair. She was dressed in all black, save for the grey Jedi cloak around her shoulders. Rey frowned at the woman's belt. Equipped to it was a lightsaber, so the woman was clearly a Jedi, and yet on the opposite side, a small blaster was holstered. Rey hadn't heard of any stories of Jedi using blasters. They paused as they reached a door before entering a relatively spacious bedroom. Ben collapsed on the bed, whilst the woman pulled the desk chair over towards the bed._

 _"_ _What has you so quiet Ben? You've passed your trials. You are officially a Jedi Knight. You should be celebrating, and yet you've barely said a word since we came back from Dagobah. Luke and I are worried. Is there something you'd like to discuss from your trial?" She asked softly._

 _"_ _Can you tell me the story of how you fell in love Aunt Mara?"_

 _Her eyes registered shock at the question but the rest of her gave nothing of her surprise at the random question away._

 _"_ _Well that's the funny thing Ben, and I don't know when. The first time I encountered Luke, we didn't necessarily truly meet. I was hiding in plain sight, waiting for an opportunity to kill him. My master at the time saw him as a threat, but couldn't openly attack him. The opportunity never presented itself, and for the first time I failed my master. I thought nothing more of Luke Skywalker, until the Battle of Endor. I shared a connection with my master, and when Darth Vader turned on him and killed him, he exploited that connection. I was comatose for a week, my mind playing the scene over and over again. I was forced to watch my master destroyed by Vader's betrayal due to Luke's interference. My master's last wish was to be avenged, to kill Luke Skywalker."_

 _Rey watched frozen with anticipation and surprise. She couldn't believe this woman, this Jedi, was once an apprentice of Emperor Palpatine. The Sith Lord who had assumed control of the galaxy and ruled his empire with a vicious and ruthless hand._

 _"_ _I hated Luke Skywalker, hated him for his role in my master's death, hated him from destroying my world, the Empire. Hating him for turning my master's pet Vader against him. It was the only life I had known. My parent's had given me to the Empire, and I was immediately brought before the Emperor, to be trained as his hand, a servant in the shadows. My force abilities made me a prize, a worthy weapon. It was all I had been taught, and when the Empire fell so did my world. I was lost for many years, and with no Master, I abandoned the force, focusing on surviving. But I couldn't escape the force forever. Eventually I ran into Luke, and the hatred returned. What I didn't know at the time was that my Master had manipulated me, preyed on our connection. At the beginning I may have reserved some hatred and anger at Luke, but with time that healed. Instead he had forced his will on me through the force, and the hatred I felt was more an order conditioned into me than anything._

 _At first I tried to avoid him at all costs, but then everywhere I went I seemed to be running into him. Then I started to give into the hatred, but Luke fought for me. He helped me understand that and separate myself from my master's orders. Knowing I was force sensitive, he constantly pestered me about completing my training, but I ignored him. With time we began to trust one another as well as frustrate. Then we seemed to be entangled in each other's mess more and more. I guess somewhere along the line that hatred turned into affection." She shrugged. "Why do you ask?"_

 _Rey's attention shifted back to Ben, who she noticed was taking his time to answer his Aunt's question carefully, like he was trying to hide something from her._

 _"_ _I'm not trying to avoid taking responsibility, because at the end of the day, however wrong the choice, I did make that choice on_ Chandrila _. I know that Uncle, you and the other Master's all think I'm excelling at my training, but I don't feel that way. Everytime I think I've mastered something, something else derails me. I just want to know how much was me and…"_

 _"_ _How much was the dark side user forcing his will upon you?" She asked gently._

 _Ben nodded. "I'm afraid Aunt Mara."_

 _"_ _But it's not the dark side user who had influenced you that you're now afraid of is it? You've never been afraid of yourself Ben, because I think deep down, you know that's not who you are. Your afraid of what others think, of what others feel. What happened in your trial Ben to shift that fear? You passed, so you must have overcome it."_

 _"_ _I couldn't make sense of it all. I still don't. At first there was a cold presence and then I was watching the fall of the Emperor. Of Luke and Vader turning against him. I could feel the force tugging on me, like it was trying to tell me something but I couldn't grasp it."_

 _Rey watched as wary and guilty expression came on his Aunt's face, and then Rey realised he didn't know. She guessed Ben was fourteen, fifteen, years old here, but he didn't know. A few years ago everyone had heard the tale renewed, even on Jakku, of how Luke Skywalker had killed the Emperor. How he had turned Darth Vader against him. Darth Vader, once Anakin Skywalker, had turned back to the light to save his son. How Leia Organa Solo, was daughter to one of the most feared and volatile monsters of the Empire. He was Ben's grandfather but at this point in time he hadn't known. General Organa hadn't told him the truth, and it seemed that his Aunt was all too aware of the truth._

 _"_ _Then it disappeared. I was suddenly back on_ Chandrila, except instead of the assassin, I had lost control and was murdering…was murdering…" he took unsteady breath of air, "murdering mum…but it was weird. I couldn't feel the darkside. There was no emotion, it was like looking at a holovid. It was jarring. I was prepared to have my worst nightmare thrown back at me, to test to see if I would fall prey to the same mistake, but there was no emotion to be prepared for. It was stale. When mum collapsed to the floor, I noticed that I wasn't the only one there. Raia was there. It wasn't me killing mum anymore, it was Raia. Her eyes were yellow, like in the stories that Uncle told us of Sith long passed."

 _"_ _Luke told me that you had asked if she could be your padawan." Ben's cheeks reddened in embarrassment. "He also said that he told you that she has been tempted by the dark side already though she was able to overcome it. I agree that it would be good for both of you if you took her on as your padawan, and it seems the force agrees too. I think you see a part of yourself in her. Your trying to move on, but every so often you doubt yourself. When you shouldn't I might add. You've experienced first hand the influence and consequences of the darkside, and you want to protect her from that."_

 _He nodded before continuing. "She started to run away and I followed and suddenly we were no longer in_ Chandrila, but she was standing at a fork point in the road between you and me. Raia was suddenly taunting me telling me if she hadn't been trained by me, if I hadn't of interrupted her training with you, she wouldn't have turned out like this. I felt like a failure again, and I could see everyone's disappointed face again. I knew I had let everyone down again. I had let Raia down. She started to walk towards you and I let her. But before she could reach you, I ran over and pulled her behind me. Seeing Raia like that had scared me. I was scared because it was like looking in a mirror at myself. But in that vision, it felt wrong to let her go to you. I understand that temptation, and I vowed to protect her from the darkside the other day. I guess I just didn't comprehend the true meaning behind that statement. By teaching her, I can protect her, strengthen her resolve against the darkside. You were suddenly gone, and I turned around, and her eyes were back to normal."

"I proud of you Ben. You overcame your fears. You want to train her, but your afraid of what yourself, of what you think you are capable of. And so you fear that if you train her, you will poison her, taint her to the darkside. But you didn't let that fear control you. You let go of it. You chose the light. We can't control each other's actions, only prepare as best we can."

Rey watched as she sat up and wrapped her arms around Ben in a fierce hug. Rey meanwhile had no clue what to make of the situation. To make of Ben Solo, Kylo Ren. He had shown her a side of him, torn between the light and dark, and now him overcoming the darkside, even if briefly. This was muddling her feelings towards Kylo Ren, and she didn't appreciate that sentiment whatsoever. She preferred to hate him for what he did to Han Solo, his own father.

"Whilst I'm sure he was already making the necessary arrangements, I'll go let Luke know that you are not only ready but accepted the responsibility of a Padawan." She paused at the door before adding teasingly, "Master Solo".

Rey felt herself grinning, liking this Aunt Mara, as the Jedi left Ben's room, whilst a groan escaped him. He was sure that this was what Master Katarn had felt when Uncle Luke had managed to get him to become a Master too. Both their thoughts were distracted by the sound of Ben's holoprojector going off, signally an incoming transmission. Reaching over to the wall, he accepted the call, and watched as his mother and father's face appeared on the large screen.

"Hey Mum. Hey Dad."

"How are you doing Ben?" General Organa asked, but Rey's attention was focused on the seeing the younger version of Han Solo, the smuggler she had come to care a great deal about before Kylo Ren had taken that away from her.

Ben smiled shyly at his parents. "I passed my last trial today. I am officially a Jedi Knight."

"Congratulations kid." Han replied. "I don't suppose that means you'll be flying the falcon anytime soon."

 _And whose fault is that Han Solo. You couldn't deal with having such a powerful son. So you banished him to this pathetic compound._

Ben had to restrain himself from growling, at the return of the voice. Ignoring it, he replied, "that's okay, I'll probably be too busy to fly it anyway now. I'm taking on a padawan."

His parents both blinked at that statement, before sharing a quick worried looked between one another. A look that Ben did not miss and this time, he couldn't hold back the twinge of anger rising. They still don't trust me.

 _That's right Ben, feel your anger. Let it make you strong and powerful. They don't trust you. But you don't need their trust Ben. You don't need them._

Ben added stiffly, "Uncle Luke thinks I'm ready."

"Well, if Luke thinks your ready I'll trust my judgment". Leia tried to smooth over, knowing they had accidently just offended their son. "I just don't want you to feel too pressured, and Luke always said you vehemently objected the idea before".

Of course, the great Luke Skywalker they trust, but their own son they don't. Whilst he knew it was his own fault, it hurt Ben that after this time his parents still didn't really trust him.

 _If you would only listen to me Ben I would spare you this never-ending cycle. They don't trust you and they will never trust you again. They fear that which they do not know. They fear you. They might even talk to Skywalker and the little one might be taken away from you._

Ben's anger surfaced again, at the voice's poisonous words. Whilst it was true, previously he vehemently rejected the notion of taking a student, it wasn't the case with Raia. He wanted to train her. No needed to train her. He had felt a connection between them when they had met. A connection he didn't want to loose. Ben blinked trying to clear his mind only to realise that he had completed tuned out of the conversation with his mother and father. Knowing if this continued his mother would notice or sense something amiss and tell his Uncle. He couldn't have him find out he was still hearing voices. They would never trust him. He would always be watched. And they would never trust a youngling like Raia to him.

 _So don't let them. You have the power to take what you want. Come to me Ben. Come to me and I will train you with real power. Come to me with the little girl, and I will allow you to train her as I will train you apprentice._

Taking a deep breath, Ben tried to find the strength inside him in the cave back in Dagobah that had allowed him to not be tempted by the darkside. He didn't need him to train Raia. Breathe in and out. He didn't need power. He just needed…he just needed…family.

"What time will you be here tomorrow?" Ben asked, voice strained but excited at the prospect of seeing his parents. It had been nearly a year since they had visited last, and even then that had just been a quick passing visit. This time they were planning on staying for a week. "I can introduce you to my padawan. You'll like Raia Mum. She's inquisitive, and you too Dad. Her mother was a pilot and taught her how to build and repair things."

"Just how old is this padawan your taking on?" His father asked, and it did not escape Ben's notice that they avoided his question.

"I think Uncle Luke said she was five. She looks about five." He paused before adding angrily, "Your not coming are you?"

Han Solo suddenly found something off screen very entertaining, as he guilty looked away from his son's disappointed and angry expression, leaving his wife to handle the answer.

"I'm sorry Ben. Something urgent has come up, and we have to postpone it. I'm sorry honey I know you were looking forward to the visit, we were too. But don't worry we'll visit another time, and soon."

"It's always another time." He snarled, not wanting to hear anymore excuses, he shut off the holoprojector before his parents could interject. He slammed his fists against the desk, his clenched fists remaining stationery on the now dinted wood.

 _They were too busy for you Ben. They abandoned you. Again._

Yes. Abandoned. Ben could count how many times they had visited him in recent times on his one hand. They were always planning but never came. Something always popped up. They were too afraid to be near him or their jobs were more important than their own son.

 _Or both. If they truly loved you they wouldn't have abandoned you to your Uncle. They would have cared for you and helped you, but they dumped you on Skywalker. If they truly loved you they wouldn't abandon you at the academy never visiting. And even when they come back to you, they fear you, judge you, restrain you. They don't deserve your love._

Ben could feel his angry surging, taking hold once more, and before he knew what he was doing his lightsaber was in his hand, ignited, and slicing through the holoprojector. Why couldn't his parents love him? Why couldn't they except who he was? He raised his hand to slash his lightsaber against the desk and wall.

 _Because they are weak. You are not weak Ben. Come to me and you will need no other._

Ben flinched, his lightsaber wobbling in his grasp, as he felt a set of wrap themselves around his legs. He peered down to see Raia, looking up at him with determined eyes.

"I like you Ben."

Blinking, he felt the anger receding at her stubborn expression, though not completely. He turned off his lightsaber. "What are you doing here Raia?" This was twice now that she had appeared when the darkside was threatening him.

Her eyes scrunched up in concentration. "There was an itch. In my head. I felt pain but not my own. And then anger and sadness. Don't be sad Ben, I'm sure your parents love you, and even if they don't I love you enough for both of them."

It was a such an innocent and gentle thing to say that Ben couldn't resist bending down and hugging the girl. His Padawan now really.

Rey felt aggravation flare, this time from Kylo Ren, not the young Ben Solo. Once more Rey felt a blinding light encompassing her, attempting to block all her senses not just her vision. He howled in annoyance, at this distance unable to keep his Uncle at bay any further.

 _Skywalker is blocking me from you Rey, but it won't be permanent. I will back to show you more. I will be back for you. To protect you. To protect you from the man who stole you away from us._

 _Rey felt groggy, as if a large distance was separating them that she couldn't reach out remove. She felt Ren's presence in her mind dwindle, and with that a sense of loss. Though she no longer knew if she should be relieved or sad at the buffer that seemed to separate her and Ren._

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

In this chapter, after Ben's successful trial and Raia's interruption in his life, Snoke was beginning to loose a hold over Ben again. As you can see Snoke made sure to make his presence known and deafening. It seems there is no escape for poor Ben.

For those of you who are thinking that maybe Leia and Han were a bit cold or harsh towards Ben remember that this is only one side of the story. Whilst they certainly do share some blame, Ben's reactions are not necessarily normal in the depth of what he is feeling. He had Snoke influencing those weaknesses, influencing though negative thoughts that he is trying to battle through them, or become swallowed up in them as you can see here.

Also in case it has not been very clear, Ren is showing her memories of her as child through his own memories, which reveal things he doesn't necessarily want her to see but he can't have his cake and eat it too!

I would love to know everyone's thoughts and opinions on these chapters, and happy readings!


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